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Who do you have on your team?

Who do you have on your team? People who thrive have support networks. Support networks are people you can go to for advice, encouragement, and even collaboration when you have a challenge or goal. Most people have support networks for different areas of their lives (i.e. a professional support network, a personal support network, a mental health support network).

To put it in a fun way, you need a team. You need to have people who you can reach out to, who you know are rooting for you. These are people you can shoot a friendly email, just saying Hey and telling them what’s new and asking them about their lives. These are parents, mentors, friends, “friendtors,” former colleagues, people in your professional network, who you can approach to buoy you with advice or offer a listening ear when you need it. Even if you don’t approach people for advice often, it’s so important to know that your team is in place.

What if you read this and think to yourself, I don’t know enough people to have a team.

Are you sure? Can you dig deep into your past and list all the people you’ve interacted with in a meaningful context, who have supported you?

Sample team:

My parent

My coach

My sibling

My favorite cousin

My favorite aunt

A close friend from college

My best friend

My work best friend

My friend who is ten years older than me, who I see as older and wiser

My professional mentor

My downstairs neighbors


Now is the time to reach out and make those connections. (The best time to build your support network is before you need to lean on them for something) Reach out to people, say hello, ask what they’re up to, and offer to support their work in some way to get the conversation started. Ideally you can add value to the relationship in your own unique way. Ask, How can I help? And send lots of gratitude to the all people on your team.

It’s good to have a team.


Befriend Uncertainty

In January, I made a goal to befriend uncertainty. It’s one of those goals with crap architecture: it’s qualitative and tough to measure. But I am noticing a marked difference in my outlook: I’m not sure what the next year will look like and I’m not using a five-year plan as a guide. There is no plan. For the most part, that’s pretty okay with me.

Many of us are “certainty junkies.” I was a certainty junkie up until January, when I decided to make peace with not-knowing. We try to control outcomes and manipulate situations so we feel like we know what’s going to happen in our lives. There’s a certain thing we want, and a certain way we plan things are going to go, and we make steady progress towards that thing. We feel more comfortable. But oddly, sometimes this quest for certainty makes us clenched up and closed off. We feel a tightening in our gut. We blame gluten. (I blame gluten!) But really, we’re worried: What if it all doesn’t work out?

There’s a chance it won’t work out. Which would suck. But if you are generally okay with uncertainty, something not happening the way you planned won’t be such a blow. Sidling up to uncertainty defangs it. We can learn to be comfortable with the idea that we don’t know what’s going to happen in our lives in the long-term. 


It’s so easy to get attached to specific outcomes and try to make it happen.  But when you unclench and lean into the uncertainty of life, you’re more likely to experience success. You conserve energy. You’re less likely to get in your own way. When we force things to happen—in work, in sports, in romance, you name it—it doesn’t usually turn out well. Something gets broken.

Embracing uncertainty means giving up striving. It’s about doing your best and being open to opportunities. Isn’t that what we all want for ourselves? The hard part is not getting attached to certain outcomes. It requires trusting that everything will generally be fine and believing that the universe is looking out for us.


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